I once told my friend Stephanie, about my borderline obsession and all-consuming desire for grape bubble gum. If you happen to have a pack of grape bubblicous, you would be wise to hide it from me, because in a matter of minutes it will be devoured.
I love to chew it on my back teeth while letting the juices collect in the crevice between my molars and the inside of my cheeks. I am unable to stop chewing until I have completely ravaged the gum of both its sweetness and softness. Once the gum is tough and the flavor is long gone, I reach for yet another piece. Until the pack of 5 is just a sad, empty, crumply waste of purple paper with large bulges of masticated wet and sticky gum seeping through torn gum wrappers.
That’s pretty much how I feel about my kids too.
I love my 3 girls so much I often refer to them as my own personal pack of grape bubblicious bubble gum. Most days they are so sweet I want to chew them on my back teeth and savor all of their sweetness. I get lost in moments of complete adoration of our girls, as all parents do. BUT, since we are one of those “weird homeschooling families” I inevitably have those days where I have had enough of their ‘flavor’ and all I want to do is put them back in the crumply old paper and turn my attention to more juicy subjects…like my double grape spouse.
I am a spontaneous, flighty, forgetful, silly, type B, sensitive, happy-go-lucky, ADD wanderer. Seriously, I used to take Ritalin.
If Momus (the Grecian God of humor) forgot to anoint you with a sense of humor and more specifically an adult/childlike sense of humor, don’t bother with me.
If however, you were one of the lucky ones Momus visited in the womb, there’s always room at my table for nice individuals. You are more than welcome to bring your own pack of bubblicious (preferably not grape) and join me for an honest, sincere, and definitely silly bubble gum chewing competition and maybe some casual conversation as well. But the promise of conversation really depends on a couple of important factors;
- how stuffed my mouth is with bubble gum
- which peice I’m on
- how new the peice is
- the kind of gum you brought…
- and whether or not I am plotting to do a ‘steal your gum and run’ move