Despite the fact that Greg and I have been married for 16 years and we have 3 kids, I find myself occasionally waking up in the morning and thinking to myself, “Who are these people?”
Cue the infamous Talking Heads song, “Once in a Lifetime”
“And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
and you may find yourself in a beautiful house
with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself
well, how did I get here…”
And one of my all-time favorite lyrics from a song,
“Where does that highway go to?”
On the days I wake up with this song in my head, I always know it’s going to be a special day. One where we push the pause button on our autopilot everyday lives. From the moment we wake up to the time we all go to bed, the day unfolds at a slow motion speed.
I take in the changes in my girls faces, their eyes, smiles, cheeks and noses. I fully invest in all the conversations they put forward…especially the super silly ones. You know the ones involving unicorns and poop. I usually space out during those conversations, in favor of going over the grocery list in my head or whether I switched out that last load of laundry with Phoebe’s most prized possession Mr. Purple Blankie or…crap, did I feed Penny today? On these particular mornings it’s not a conscious choice to pay attention…rather the day just unfolds slowly. Allowing me to pay attention to each moment and be thankful.
We spend time with them doing something they enjoy and truly delight in the people they are becoming right before our very eyes.
It just so happens I woke up singing that song this morning.
And just like that, our autopilot existence (also previously referred to as “Blob Out”) was halted.
As usual, I awoke to Cecilia donkey kicking me. When I rolled over and saw her little face, I almost didn’t recognize her with all the changes she has gone through lately. And yes before you ask, I did have a beer the night before. So that could be the culprit. Or hell, it’s probably those damn kerosene heater fumes rearing their ugly head again. Whatever the reason, on these particular days, it’s almost as if I’m seeing my girls for the first time in months.
Which sounds insane. I see them everyday. All day.
I’m watching Cecilia’s face beginning to lose that toddler chubbiness. Her little legs and arms are growing longer and developing lean muscle, which she loves to show off. It blows my mind she’s going to be 9 in less than 4 weeks. How did that happen?
How do we have an almost 14, 11 and 9 year old. How is it possible we’ve been married for 16 years, together for 18.
“And You may ask yourself
Well, how did I get here?”
Thank you David Byrne for your poignant but humorous song. It serves as a reminder to press the pause button every once in a while. Also it’s a great source of entertainment for Greg. He always gets a good laugh when I ask, “Who are these 3 people and why do they keep calling me mommy…can you believe we’ve been married for 16 years…and that we have three kids…and that we’ve lived in 10 different homes (11 if we count the RV), in 3 different states and owned 3 of them” and of course, “Where does that highway go to?”
My other favorite song lyric is from Gene Wilders performance in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, “if you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it”. But that is a sorted tale for another time.
All in all it was a good day to discover exactly where it is “that” highway goes to.