For those of you who have wondered if I ever think about our old life…or if I “miss” anything about the things we’ve given up in order to pursue this crazy dream…this one’s for you…
Since we’ve inhabited this unmentionable northern California coastal town, it has continued to rain non-stop, the sun has been hiding behind a crazy large black ominous cloud for days, it’s cold, and I am currently missing our old kitchen. I woke up thinking about our kitchen countertops this morning. And just like that, I declared today, October 19th NATIONAL HOMESICK DAY.
I miss being in the only room in the house I could never seem to escape and having a 360 degree view of the kids. It was so easy to keep up with them. I could see everything from that room. It brought me so much joy. It was by far, my favorite room in the house. If I could have built a Murphy bed under the counter tops, I probably would have, I loved it that much.
There are very few I can call and converse with about my home-sick feelings. If you have received a text or an email from me, that’s my passive aggressive side of reaching out to you… in an effort to avoid the inevitable, “I told you so…I knew this would happen…you never listen to me…Blah blah blah”.
Honestly, out of this whole 4 months and some odd days, homesickness is bound to happen despite the majority of our time being amazing.
I think a new location is going to do wonders for my outlook. I don’t mind the cold. I don’t even mind the rainy, overcast weather.
I see people walking around with scowls on their faces. When I smile, no-one smiles back. When Cecilia walks in and around the grocery store with me, no-one stops to watch her in all of her awesomeness. That’s probably what it all boils down to. We went to the grocery store today. Cecilia wanted to walk, as usual. While I was pushing the grocery cart, a lady and I ran into one-another, with our carts. It wasn’t hard, but I laughed and said, “Oh excuse me!” with a smile on my face. I made eye contact and searched for an understanding empathetic response…to no avail. She looked at me and shook her head with her lips pursed, eventually rolling her eyes. As she walked away, I heard her mumbling something to herself.
It’s Wednesday…we are here until Saturday.
This is my first real experience on this trip with being homesick. All of the sudden, I am texting My friend Elena, asking her what she’s doing in that moment…texting my mom and sister about how they feel about all the political stuff that’s going on, texting my brothers about their families, dogs, cars, vacations and political opinions…and missing Bear, our Golden Retriever (4th child) who passed away a year ago. When one thing goes wrong, sometimes I tend to spiral.
I gotta snap out of it…It’s almost Halloween! One of my favorite holiday’s and definitely the kids favorite…second favorite.
We all have our moments right? We can’t always be hap hap happy. Hopefully, that’s all it is. Whatever the reason, I know what I have to do…
- buy some twinkly lights for outside
- start our Halloween crafts
- let the kids decorate the inside of the beast in preparation for the holidays
- start buying birthday and holiday gifts
- make a fabulous dinner for everyone
- be present and available during the day…not dwelling and loosing myself in the “why do I not like this place…”
- maintain our daily routines
- and maybe the most important thing…find the next DESTINATION!
This too shall pass…
But for real, this week is C R E E P I N G by at a snail’s pace!
Abby and I added some little experts from all the videos we took from the past 2 days…and made them into a movie. She is becoming quite the little director, storyteller, and editor.