I have issues.
I want change. I like change. Right now I have to quench my desire for change with the weather and the seasons. But even that isn’t coming fast enough. I keep walking outside in the morning to see if this day is any cooler from the previous day. Of course, it’s not. It’s only October in Florida. We still have 87/88 degree days in Florida.
I want to wear my jeans and sweaters, grab a hot seasonal coffee from Starbucks, dress my little in-mates in cute little outfits with tights, take pictures and window shop in downtown Stuart.
I am 100% confident we missed our seasonal window by visiting Michigan in September. Had we waited and visited in a week or so, I know we would have witnessed the most amazing high-definition technicolor extravaganza.
I just had to ‘get out of the heat’ in the middle of September. Now I am itching to see the vibrant reds, oranges and yellows, feel the cool breezes, take walks and bike rides among the colors, and drop a blanket on the grass in some nearby park so the kids could run around and snack while I read and do nothing.
I have such high aspirations.
Poor Greg, he has to live with me. I have what I have creatively coined as the
I am impulsive, indecisive, and impatient.
The indecisive part of my syndrome is tricky. A majority of the time I just go with the flow and ride the wave of indecision. Once I reach a decisive point however, I am unbelievably impatient. I can barely stand myself. So that takes care of Indecision and impatience.
As for impulsivity, I have come a long way since having children. There are some instances where as a mom, impulsivity serves me well; as far as school goes, I have everyday day planned out. But where impulsivity positively impacts our day is when someone wakes up in a cranky mood and needs to get the wiggles out…I can make an impulsive decision to spend the morning at the park or beach. We can do school in the afternoon.
I like schedules and I use to say, “schedules set me free”. I no longer feel that way. I need impulsivity to help offset the imbalance of change. I strongly desire change right now. And because it’s not happening the way I want it to, I make a conscious effort to use impulsivity to make me feel like change is happening. For instance, I take the girls to the grocery store everyday. I shop for the current day and only that day. Part of the impulsivity is to go to the grocery store without a list. Not really a problem for me as I usually forget the list at home anyway.
Before we get out of the car, I ask the girls what they want for lunch and dinner. I view it as an educational exercise. When we go into the store, we grab only the items we talked about. Nothing else. Abby and Phoebe look for the items and Abby adds them up in her head. Cecilia throws them out of the cart and laughs when the girls scramble to pick them up.
We all have our jobs.
Where impulsivity might become an issue is when I have made the decision and am impatiently waiting around: I would blindly leap off a moving train if I thought it would get me to my destination in that moment. And that’s where Greg’s characteristics (logical, rational, sanity and patience) come in handy.
It keeps things interesting for sure.
Until that day comes I think The Byrds said it best
to everything there is a season,
turn turn turn
I have been waking up every morning for the past 2 weeks humming that song. Lyrically speaking I know the song was based on the book of Ecclesiastes and it’s meaning is a lot deeper than my poor little issues, but I keep humming the ‘turn turn turn’ part. That has to mean something right?
I really am excited to grow up one day.