I have a love/hate relationship with this face…
I love that lip. It’s so adorable. But seeing her upset hurts my heart. But that lip!!!!
MAKE IT STOP!!!
Cecilia is still screaming…and working on getting on to her knees and feet. After being sick for two weeks, she has fallen a little bit behind. She just didn’t feel like practicing crawling on her hands and knees and having her scream at me and collapse on the floor during mommy therapy times was definitely not my idea of productivity. She therefore made the decision to commando crawl, or better yet…scoot. Therapists always told me, “try not to let her scoot”. Here she is 22 months old and scooting. I keep seeing the word ‘FAILURE’ blinking on and off in neon lights in my brain. How could I let her scoot? Why didn’t I follow behind her every time she initiated the ‘scooting’ movement? Why didn’t I pick her up every time? Are phrases that have found the ‘replay’ button in my brain. “It’s a phase”, “she will still crawl one day”, “she will still walk one day” I keep hearing…but for now her favorite mode of transportation is…drum roll please…scooting.
The phrase, “You have three children” alas, is not as comforting as it used to be. I am hyper aware of my ‘control issues’ when it comes to our kids. And I am totally type B person all the way. Imagine my surprise to find out, type B individuals also have control issues…I always thought we were just passive aggressive and gray.
I fundamentally believe we all have the power within us to create the type of life we want to live. I can get up every morning and start off the morning with speech, physical and occupational therapy exercises with Cecilia following up with speech exercises with Phoebe. I can do those exercises three times a day. I can do infant message and the brushing technique with Cecilia. I can meet with our two speech therapists, one physical therapist and one occupational therapist on a weekly basis. I can help Abby participate in a summer reading program at the library, drive Abby and Phoebe to swim lessons and gymnastics and tennis for Abby and soccer for Phoebe. I can do all these things and still be happy.
But I am tired, short-tempered and feeling a little bit selfish lately. sometimes I wake up in the morning and sit across from these little people and just watch in disbelief…”who are these people” Cecilia is screaming (we are trying to help her learn signs so she might communicate better…’trying’ being the operative word in that last sentence), Abby is tattling on Phoebe and Phoebe is inconsolable because her milk spilled on her dress. And of course the rest of the day continues in much the same way.
Every hour someone is STARVING!!!
morning star vegetable nuggets
you name it, they eat it.
ITS NEVER ENOUGH!
They are human food containers.
Then Cecilia shows me her smoochy lips, I help Phoebe get cleaned up and she says, “I love you mommy” and Abby tells me one of her many knock knock jokes and all is right with this crazy world again. At least until the next outburst.
our Little kindergartener on her first day of school…
our little kindergartener on her last day of school…
after one crazy month filled with sickness, therapies, teaching Abby to ride a 2 wheel bike, attending an awesome kindergarten circus, Abby completing her first year of elementary school, purchasing a home, another round of sickness and scoring a major furniture find on Craigslist, I am happy to say I have returned to taking pictures and blogging. AND no it can’t always be sweet and lovely all the time. There are tough times, times when I don’t want to wipe that poopy ass, or hear the whining, or wipe away the tears…it’s reality. Blogging really helps me to reflect on where I am as a person, mother and spouse, getting it out there and connecting with people who may be in the exact same situation at the exact same time. Taking pictures is a great way to channel my creative side…always on the hunt to get the best shot that will tell, with it’s intricate details, the exact story I meant to convey.
I am a happier person for it…and a more patient spouse and parent