I always thought blogging was a bit narcissistic.
What could I possibly have to say and who would want to read about my mundane life. And then we welcomed sweet wonderful amazing beautiful Cecilia into this world. Cecilia happens to have Down syndrome. I was reading the literature on Down syndrome and to be honest, a lot of the books were antiquated and some of the information, in light of current research, was both offensive and scary. I turned to…and I can’t believe I am going to write this, Facebook. I found families who had been through what we were going through. Beautiful families. Living life. Pictures of the families with beautiful children, who happen to have that extra chromosome. Those children are beautiful, laughing and seem to be enjoying life. Through Facebook I found blogs about families, which had more pictures and information of beautiful children who bring a little something ‘extra’ into their lives. I was inspired.
Reading blogs helped me tremendously. I needed to see families living. Families I could connect with. So I thought I wanted to take a stab at it. Blogging. I have something to say, something to contribute. I wanted to give a realistic view of day-to-day living as a mother of a special needs child. As it turns out, it is extremely therapeutic. It makes me feel as though I am living consciously, a reflective practitioner. Reflective Practitioner…my Early Childhood Professors would be proud of me for putting that phrase to use.
When I was in school I knew cognitively what ‘reflective practitioner’ meant. Once I started blogging though, reflective practitioner became personal. I typically blog at night…talking about the happenings during the day. It has made me more aware of my choices as a parent. As time went by something else happened…Down syndrome began to fade into the background. We have a beautiful baby in front of us.
She is just like her sisters…she smiles, eats, she wants to hold my finger(s) and falls asleep when she nurses and she searches for connections among the people who surround her everyday. She is my baby girl. I love to look at her, smell her and her breath : ), make funny faces trying to make her smile and giggle, pepper her belly and face with noisy kisses and take her picture. I love this little bundle with everything I have for exactly who she is and will feel this way for the rest of my life.
Once you become a parent, the feeling of being invincible flees quickly from your psyche. In other words, I have the rest of my life to worry about our children. I am enjoying my blogging experience. If it helps others in similar situations, I would love to hear about it and connect with you.